AskElle: That’s What She Said

Dear Elle,

I’m a college student studying architecture. For the last year, I have been so stressed out with the workload that I completely let go of my body and health. I’m estimating that I’ll need about 4 months recovery time from all the laziness, smoking and drinking that hacks at my body. Girls have seriously lost interest in me and I feel like I have lost confidence and motivation in myself. When I had a girlfriend, I was so motivated to take care of myself but now I am in this difficult situation where I don’t have a girlfriend because I don’t take care of myself and I can’t motivate myself to do so without some female figure in my life. At this point, should I just sit out of the game and focus on rebuilding myself before even thinking about girls? Or maybe there are spots other than bars/clubs/my male infested school/etc where I can meet girls and just talk to them and use my charm instead of my usually stunning good looks :P

Much love,
Dazed and Confused Danny

Danny,

Not all girls are shallow. If you can charm them, you should, by all reasons charm them.

But, if you don’t feel confident in yourself because of your appearance, then there’s not a lot of point in trying. I’d say, confidence is more important than a really amazing body. But it’s not about being a confident dickwad, it’s about being a confident gentleman.

As far as places to meet women? Um. Everywhere? Need I mention my match.com debacle?

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If you would like to ask Elle a question about dating, relationships or something else ridiculously interesting, send an email to askelle@ploomy.com.

Elle Chyun is a dancer and arts collaborator living in NYC. She’s a graduate of the University of the Arts in Philadelphia and currently dances with cakefaceart.com and robot hands. She likes vodka, shoes, and sarcasm.

You should follow me on twitter here.