AskElle: That’s What She Said

Dear Elle,

I’ve been going out on some dates with this one guy. He has great taste in restaurants. On the second date, he made one too many jokes about me having his children, and told me about Googling third grade crushes. I had a really interesting Valentine’s Day with him. We had a fancy dinner, and I was going to invite him home with me, but he seemed really freaked out when I went to kiss him, and told me  he was “very slow” and “old fashioned.” But on the flip side of that, nearly every conversation we’ve had in the two weeks that I’ve known him has somehow led to his feelings on BABIES. What am I supposed to do ?

-V

Dear V,

I like the part about “he has great taste in restaurants.”

Were you inviting him home with you because you felt obligated? Or were you inviting him home to scare him off? The only logical explanation I can come up with is that to him, being aggressive means mo’ing, furiously dry humping, and sexual assault. He doesn’t see aggressive as, “I will mention babies at least twice during dinner” because he probably thinks that babies are endearing and not assault like. I am sure that this plays into his concept of being “old fashioned”, since old fashioned courtship was less dinner-and-a-movie with some light necking, and more like betrothment, dowries, and 14 children. At the mention of babies again, tell him you are a modern woman who is freaked out by baby talk but loves a good steak. Let me know how it goes.

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If you would like to ask Elle a question about dating, relationships or something else ridiculously interesting, send an email to askelle@ploomy.com.

Elle Chyun is a dancer and arts collaborator living in NYC. She’s a graduate of the University of the Arts in Philadelphia and currently dances with cakefaceart.com and robot hands. She likes vodka, shoes, and sarcasm.

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