Ask Elle: Advice on Women

Dear Elle,

It’s been 7 months now since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. I haven’t dated anyone and really haven’t gotten over her yet. How would you suggest getting over a breakup?
Broken hearted

Dear Broken Hearted,

If you’ve already gotten past the black out drunk episodes where you insult everyone in your path of broken hearted destruction, then I would say the next step is to get down to business:

Get it. Comprehend why you broke up. Comprehension is not weeping into a bottle of whiskey and talking to yourself. Comprehending your break up is coming to see that you broke up because you weren’t supposed to spend the rest of your lives together. Break ups blow, but staying in a relationship just to put off a break up blows even more.

Make a clean break. Toss all the momento crap from your relationship that you still have and is only making you sappy.

Cry and go shoot stuff. I’m not saying you have to suck it up and be a man, if you have to cry, cry. Force yourself to go do stuff – go shoot beer cans off a fence, go bowling, etc. Wallowing in your own self pity for too long will inevitably turn you into a pathetic loser. This is an ideal time to take up a new hobby, now that you don’t have to spend your free time with some unappreciative, demanding, good for nothing woman.

Go pimp. I feel like when people are in relationships that they forget there are millions of other people in the world to meet. Breaking up is sucky, but there’s a lot of excitement in getting to meet someone new, or rather, a lot of new people if you are really socially dexterous.

Dear Elle,

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other now for almost a year. We’ve been great and everything has been solid. Several months ago one of her old boyfriends asked her to hang out. I am not the jealous type and never have been. I kind of figured she even told me to to see if I would trust her so I didn’t make a big deal about it. The guy is in a relationship already supposedly and she says they are just friends. It started as just coffee once a month and now it’s progressed to dinner and movies once in a while. I want to tell her that this is not cool. How should I do it without losing her.
Jerry in San Francisco I’m Not Jealous I Swear

Dear Jerry,

I always like to think of ex boyfriends as gay men because I can enjoy their company without the sexual tension that always seems to ruin things. Chances are your girlfriend feels that way too, which is exactly why she’s hanging around with her ex.

Approach the subject calmly, and not like a sociopath, and you can have a useful conversation with your girlfriend about her hang sessions with her ex. Fully explain yourself and your reasons for not digging the situation with empathy, which will make you look caring and sensitive and will also prevent the situation from turning into a full on trailer trash brawl.

Dear Elle,

I’m meeting my girlfriend’s family for the first time later this month during Thanksgiving. This is a big deal for her and for me too. From what I can tell her parents seem a little reserved and uptight which makes me nervous, but of course I’d like to make a good showing for myself and don’t want to blow this opportunity for a good start. My girlfriend told me that her father will definitely ask me who I voted for in the presidential election since he is a staunch Republican so I should be prepared for that. How do I let him know that I voted for Obama without pissing him off?
Obama Supporter Coming to Dinner

Dear Obama Supporter Coming to Dinner,

My family is liberal, do you want to come to Thanksgiving?

Most likely, you’ve been involved in a heated conversation about politics before. The finger pointing and yelling are 2 things you should probably not engage in when you, the liberal, is invited to the Republican’s house for dinner. Basically, don’t be a dick. While I think it’s very impolite to ask someone who they voted for, I would answer honestly and without apology. Dads like their daughters to bring home guys that are smart and have balls (in the right instances, of course). Instead of playing Democrat defense, you should listen and have a real conversation about politics. I know it’s infuriating to listen to someone defend something you think is bull shit, but if you act diplomatically your girlfriend’s dad will be impressed that you’re an intelligent little guy who has no potential as a wife beater.

Elle Chyun is a dancer and arts collaborator living in NYC. She’s a graduate of the University of the Arts in Philadelphia and currently dances with cakefaceart.com and robot hands. She likes vodka, shoes, and sarcasm.

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If you would like to ask Elle a question about dating, relationships or something else ridiculously interesting, then send them to the editor at anthony [at] ploomy [dot] com.

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