The other night a girl friend of mine called complaining her boyfriend said he’d call at 9:30pm, but it’s half past 10 and he hadn’t called yet. A co-worker reports to me that her brother always forgets Mother’s Day, and he put his name on the present she bought. These are two very classic examples of behaviors that some guys do that drive women up the wall—not calling when they say they’ll call (according to Michelle K.) and forgetfulness (according to Jenny K.).
Every woman has different tolerance levels for obnoxiousness, cockiness and all things that drive them outright crazy! I asked roughly two dozen girls, “What are things that guys do that drive you nuts.” You may be surprised by some of the 15 things that made the list.
Disclaimer: This article is not meant to bash on guys. Some of the thoughts and gripes are specific to the individual woman and are not meant to stereotype men (or women, for that matter).
IN A RELATIONSHIP
1) Breaking a promise. Be realistic with what you can and can’t deliver on, and don’t make a promise you can’t keep. No one likes it when expectations are high just to later be let down by another. And while we’re on the topic of breaking promises, don’t wait to break plans till the very last minute. According to Rachel L., the sooner her guy cancels, the more understanding she’ll be towards the situation.
2) Hanging out alone with a woman who’s not a family member. Let’s face it, at one point or another you had a crush on your girl best friend or vice versa. It’s no wonder that some women have problems believing that men and women can just be platonic friends. Andrea H. says, “You cannot have a strictly, 100% platonic close relationship with a member of the opposite sex, especially if that person is in any way sexy.”
3) Not letting us into your world. Do you have more “guys’ nights” than group outings that include you and your buddies’ significant others? Did you forget to invite your girlfriend to a family party? If you’re serious about your gal, it’s important to include her in your world thus showing that she is also one of your priorities. “If I’m important to him, I’d think he’d want me to be part of everything else in his life that’s important,” proclaims Veronica T.
4) Non-responsiveness to messages. Whether it’s a text message, voicemail or email, men can tend to take awhile to respond. Katie K. retorts, “Least they could do is acknowledge that they received the message.” And she’s absolutely right; men don’t have to answer or engage in a long winded conversation if they’re not ready or up for it. Simply acknowledging the receipt of the messages and mentioning you’ll get back to us later is usually enough for the time being.
5) Poor gift giving. We know that guys mean well when they pick out a gift, and we should realize it’s the thought that counts. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Jeannette H.’s husband never gets her the right size and they’ve been married for years. “Not only does it [article of clothing] usually not fit, I have to log the transaction in the checkbook.” Oh, dear! Take note, guys, if you have a joint account and you don’t want your significant other to know how much you spent, use a credit card that you take are of or take out cash instead. And in terms of buying the wrong size, if you don’t know her exact size, stay clear from purchasing clothes.
6) Giving us unsolicited advice. Ever been in a situation when a girl just rambled on for three minutes straight without flinching. She doesn’t ask for your opinion at the end of the three minutes, and yet, you still give your unsolicited advice. Wrong move. Sometimes girls talk just to vent. Helpful hint: your role in this type of situation is just to listen.
7) Long, unkempt hair. It’s one thing to intentionally grow your hair for fashion’s sake (newsflash though, ponytails are so passé), but it’s quite another to procrastinate on getting a haircut. According to Patty Z., guys should remember to upkeep their hair because it’s not attractive to see a guy with long hair that is three months past needing a haircut. (Buzz cuts and shorter haircuts are also exception to this, usually.)
8) Dirty fingernails, longer than mine. If you think you’re going to touch us with dirty, long fingernails, think again! “Dirty fingernails gross me out, it tells me you don’t care about appearances and hygiene,” exclaims Cathy M. Consider trimming your nails every week and a half (or more as needed) and clean the gunk underneath them. You’ll appear more put together and maybe she’ll be more willing to have those fingers in her mouth.
9) Not putting the toilet seat down. Just because your father, and his father and his father’s father didn’t put the toilet seat down, doesn’t mean it’s an age long tradition that needs to be followed. Do your part and put the toilet seat down for your mother, sister, and significant other suggests Jenny K. (If you live with a house full of guys, then please ignore.)
10) Doing everything last minute. Christmas shopping, walking the dog, throwing out the trash and even solidifying plans for the next trip or outing—guys tend to wait last minute to get these things done. Sara S. blows her top when her boyfriend can’t commit to plans two weeks in advance. Is it more appealing to wait to the very last minute? Chances are you’ll enjoy the task even more if you don’t rush through it.
11) Throwing things at you and expecting you to catch it. Ever notice that most guys like to throw things and expect you to catch them? From keys, books and everything not meant for throwing, Alissa V. says, “It’s annoying because I can’t catch and if I don’t catch it they’re [guys] always like, ‘OMG, you didn’t catch it, what!’.” (Side note: wonder if there’s a correlation between the guys who like throwing objects and a fondness or ability to play sports.)
12) Talk during and make fun of my favorite TV show(s). “A friend of mine would make faces and mimic the characters of my fave show while it was on, and it bugged me cause I was seriously trying to watch,” laments Maria S. We won’t bother you when your favorite team is playing and the score is tied in the ninth inning, with two outs, four balls and two strikes, and in return we’d like peace and quiet during our TV shows. Kapish?
13) Tuning out when someone’s speaking. Women understand that men get distracted easily, says Alissa V., but it’s bothersome when we’re talking and trying to get a point across all the while your eyes are glazed over and you’ve tuned us out. This might be one thing that guys do that we have to chalk up to an innate, DNA kind of thing. We’ll deal.
14) When they think you’re a bad driver. Melissa C. dislikes that guys automatically think she’s a bad driver just cause she’s a girl. It’s as if they think we’re going to get in an accident or scratch the car, she retorts. Gender has nothing to do with one’s ability or inability to drive. Hello, Danica Patrick is a kick ass driver and that’s indisputable.
15) Leaving their belongings everywhere. There are definitely neat and tidy guys out there, but some seem to lack the clean gene. Marissa L. offers an example, “…if we went out shopping they would bring their bags home and just leave it there for days, weeks and even months…still in the bag!” Frustrating as that’s clutter in your home you don’t want.
Stay tuned for a follow-up article on 15 things that guys do that drive women wild.
photography by Kelly Hau Photography