Pursuit of Dating
June 30, 2008 by stergeron
This article is a Ploomy Writing Challenge Finalist.
To vote for this article, give it a rating at the end of the article.
By: Sharon
Dating reminds me of the game MONOPOLY. Your main goal is to get Boardwalk. Everything is going well, and then all of a sudden you get a minor setback. You flip that Chance card over that says, “Go to Jail. Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200”. Next, you are blind-sighted by your opponent who takes over and gains possession of Boardwalk. After that, everything just goes downhill and you say f**k it! I’m done!
As a single woman in search of good company, I tend to question myself:
“How come no one ever asks me on a date?”
I think I may know, but I’m not going to make any assumptions. Let me tell you what really is bothersome about the initiation of dating. Honestly, why do we seriously need to rely on the World Wide Web (i.e. match.com, eHarmony.com) to locate a date? I find it absolutely hysterical that our generation’s last resort is “How to Get a Date” via wikihow:
“Step 1: Find Someone You Like
Step 2: Make Contact. Start a conversation…”
Wow! I’m not even going to attempt to give you Steps 3 through 9. Are we really this dumb and idiotic? The point I’m trying to get at is that most of us single and available men/women are no longer self reliant on our own actions. The fact that we seek information elsewhere other than within ourselves is very sad and quite disappointing. We have come to the point of emptying our pockets to pay subscription dues. For what? To fill out a computerized compatibility test? What cracks me up is that we will attempt to retake and alter these tests over and over again until we are satisfied with the results we want to see. I’ve done it and I’m sure a few of you have as well. What a waste of time, right? Are we just getting too lazy to think for ourselves? Are we too lethargic (<—-I feel smart using that word) to even go out, mingle, and socialize with the opposite sex? I confess. I myself have fallen into this category. Therefore, it’s time to make a change for the better. Besides, I’m sure we can find more practical ways to spend our taxable dollars. Wouldn’t you agree?
BTW – Don’t start complaining to me how hard it is to meet people. That is just plain bullsh*t. We all know that getting a date can be very complicated but at the same time, it’s simple common sense. Back in the 1950’s, it was unheard of for a woman to ask for a date or to initiate the dating process. The men were supposed to do all the work. In the February 1959 issue of Seventeen magazine, a young man wrote:
“Growing up has taught me one thing: there is an infinite number of ways by which a boy can meet a girl. I’ve also found that once he meets a girl — and becomes interested in her — a boy must indulge in a sly, artful practice called pursuit.” (72)
Nowadays, we women need to recognize that it’s OK to make the first move. Let’s practice the women’s equal rights movement that our fellow ancestors fought so hard for back in the day. No more excuses and definitely no more putting all the blame on men.
To both men & women - I’m not going to list any rules that you should follow because you are all different. I’m not going to tell you the best place to meet someone. I’m not going to tell you how you should ask someone on a date. Lastly, I’m certainly not going to tell you what pick-up lines actually work. All I’m trying to communicate is that we need to just be ourselves and if you see someone of your interest – go for it! Don’t even think twice or hesitate. Dating is a pursuit, so go on girl/boy! Chase it!
p.s. Call me! ;)
Photo by: Robyn Gallagher
Awsome article. Well balanced and right on.
you go girl!!!!!!
Well said.
get article…..you made great points!!!
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tell a friend!!
Love the Monopoly analogy!
5 Stars! So true.
Your article is shortsighted. Online sites help cut the chase and add another option to the plate. Real life meetings can happen, but when you’re tired of playing the guessing game and hitting the bar scene or church, it’s nice to have an alternative.
Great piece Sharon. So true too!
i dont see there being a problem with “online” websites. it’s just another option to have. granted i prefer the old school way of stepping up to a girl, but that’s just me.
good read tho!
i dont see there being a problem with “online” websites. it’s just another option to have. granted i prefer the old school way of stepping up to a girl, but that’s just me.
good read tho!
I agree that our society has become a little too reliant on the internet. But I know several people who’ve found their life partners through online dating sites like match.com, so wouldn’t dismiss them completely.
KRAM - There is really not a problem with it. The only I think we lack nowadays is that one on one contact. I guess it all depends on preference. I too prefer the old fashioned way =)
Technology is great , but why do we have to rely on it for dating purposes? It’s too impersonal. It especially spoils the first impression of meeting somebody face to face, don’t you think? It’s kind of cheating in a way. There are too many shortcuts for our generation. Why the rush? Finding a date shouldn’t be a speeding contest. It takes time. We are beginning to lose the meaning of live in-person communication/interaction.
Now, I would definitely go bonkers if later down the road I see a website that says, “Get Hitched Online for only $49.95!”. Please just kill me first! Just shoot me, ok?
Wait - it doesn’t exist yet, does it? I’m not ready to die!! LMAO!
i concur!
Author, you spoiled me with very a good heading and decent content. However, if your going to imply that your going to give a list then by all means do so and don’t mislead the reader into thinking it is worth their time to finish reading the rest of the article and not find one. However, I’m not flaming you.
First and foremost the reason (man or woman) can’t get past the first stage of dating is due to FEAR. It is a bothersome force that lies in each of us. It can make us do stupid things, and it can make us become more cautious and even make us stronger some say. I believe that once you actually meet your fear(s) face first and immediately deal with them, dating (or anything you choose) won’t be so “hard”.
QUOTE
“Wow! I’m not even going to attempt to give you Steps 3 through 9. Are we really this dumb and idiotic? The point I’m trying to get at is that most of us single and available men/women are no longer self reliant on our own actions. ”
Callling your readers dumb and idiotic won’t win any to come back to the site. I do agree with you to a point that we don’t rely enough on our own actions however in all things balance must be kept. You can only rely on yourself so much before you have to “rely” on someone else. Life is full on contrast and balance. infact they go hand in hand.
QUOTE
“Back in the 1950’s, it was unheard of for a woman to ask for a date or to initiate the dating process. The men were supposed to do all the work.”
This is a prime example of the culture at the time (and possibly still today) being childish, selfish and in general women created more tension doing this. However it does bring about a wonderful thing in the psyche, either you adapt or you fail. So apparently some did fail and some did adapt. However, a man nor a woman is “suppose” do all the work…I’m suppose to live, breathe, eat, sleep, and rinse/repeat thats about it.
I agree with your point that men and women need to become less worried about the “rules” of dating because apparently those rules are flawed. I believe a structure and example of a good, bad and stagnant relationship would be better to provide than “rules”. However with all things it is best to know the rules or guidelines so that you know which ones you can follow, bend or even break.
Be cautious… In my experience, being a woman “making the first moves” will not necessarily give you the desired outcome, unless you are dealing with someone painfully shy. Being too aggressive and too available takes away the challenge and the satisfaction that women, and especially men, feel when pursuing (and getting) someone new. If you just want to get laid that’s one thing, but if you are looking for respect and a relationship… don’t make it too easy for them. Be assertive and straightforward (don’t play games) but also don’t overpower the situation.
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