The Front 9: Golf Etiquette for Weekend Hackers

5^th Hole: Assume the Position - When I’m swinging a club, I should not see anyone in my peripheral vision. I shouldn’t see movement either. Maintain a good distance away from the golfer in play. There’s so much open area in a course that I shouldn’t feel you breathe on me. While on the green, make sure your shadow doesn’t stand in your playing partner’s line. And unless you’re tending the flag, definitely don’t stand behind the cup when I’m putting. The proper position to read your opponent’s putt is behind the ball.

6^th Hole: Fit to a Tee - A golf course generally has at least 3 different tee boxes. The forward tee is strictly for the ladies. No self-respecting guy, regardless of age, should ever tee up from the forward tees. I remember growing up and playing with random seniors. These guys probably grew up playing with hickory shafts and woods actually made from wood, and yet they never played from the forward tees. Ever since then I told myself I shall never tee-off from the reds. Conversely, if your score resembles the temperature on a Vegas summer day, please stay away from the back tees. You have no business there either.

7^th Hole: Retain your Composure - Upset that you shanked your drive? That you flubbed yet another chip shot? 3 putted from 10 feet? Well that’s what happens when the first ball you’ve hit in months was the drive on the 1st tee. Getting upset at your last shot only adversely affects your next shot. Yes, the ball rarely does what we visualize it to do, so there’s no need to get pissed when it is the norm rather than the exception.

8^th Hole: Equipment and Apparel - Do yourself a favor and don’t buy an all-in-one [yes, even though it comes with the golf bag] set. This screams golf newbie. Try out a few pro-line clubs and buy them used off eBay. Unless you have chronic back problems, you shouldn’t use a belly putter as they make you look foolish. Don’t use range balls and definitely don’t use fluorescent balls unless you want your sexuality questioned. Basketball shorts, jeans, and t-shirts aren’t permitted in most respectable courses, so why wear them on a public course? Plaid shorts are permitted, just not paired with a plaid shirt. Respect the game.

9^th Hole: Have Fun – Yes, this might contradict a few points mentioned above, but if you’re out on a course, then you’re not at the office or at home or anywhere else. Generally you’re with a group of guys whose company you enjoy. Few settings allow drinking and driving, but it’s part of the game here. Many play golf not for the exercise [how many calories can you burn while driving a cart?] but rather for the camaraderie and social aspect. Regardless of how you may play a particular day, that one good shot you hit will make you come back.

photo by dskciado