Ploomy Girl #1 Skyvillain: 10 Things Men Need to Know

4. Care About the World Outside Yourself

That guy who talks his head off for hours about nothing other than himself is gonna get real played out, real fast. If you aren’t concerned or conscientious about the world as a whole and your own community, you probably aren’t concerned or conscientious about yourself and the people in your life on a deeper level. Stay up to date with the news, be community-minded, and understand that your consumer choices do make an impact and you have the opportunity to make better choices and make a difference. Something as simple as not being registered to vote is a big turn off to me because it tells me that you’re not really interested in, or paying attention to, what’s going on around you on a larger scale. Have a heart, but don’t brag or pat yourself on the back for caring.

5. Be a Gentleman Sometimes

There is nothing sexier than a charming and well put together man. So why not be a gentleman all the time? These days I think people are more casual in everything they do and frankly I couldn’t be happier about that! I would hate it if all my guy friends were serious and well behaved (although I could really do without the potty humor all the time), how boring! However, that makes being a gentleman at the right times even more important because it is special and rare. Girls love to dress up and go on traditional dates for special occasions, even the tougher independent ones (like me). We also don’t want to hear you whine about how you have to wear a suit to a wedding or family event—it’s immature and irritating. Simple things like holding doors open for women and being polite at the dinner table go a long way and make you feel good.

6. Be an Asshole Sometimes

I can see the flame wars and angry emails already—but this is important and something most women wouldn’t dare admit to. Most of us fantasize about dangerous mysterious wild men at some point, but we know that that sort of person isn’t good for a long term relationship. Younger girls may go for the asshole types in early relationships, but sooner or later they learn from their mistakes. See, being an asshole and disrespectful in general is not the point and will leave you unsatisfied and lonely later in life. But always being the Nice Guy, being “nice” in bed, and giving too many compliments or praises is smothering and you will come off as clingy. It’s too easy and predictable. Don’t be a pushover and leave some mystery in the mix. Just don’t take it too far or you’ll be sending the wrong signals and the whole thing will fall apart.

7. Try New Things

Nothing beats falling in love. That feeling never lasts in the same way, but there are things you can do to keep it alive or alternately, make some of your first dates really exciting or memorable. According to this article in the NY Times, trying new things sparks a chemical reaction in your brain that will make you have feelings of love and excitement. Don’t let yourself fall into a rut or a routine in your life or in bed. Find hidden areas of your nearest city to explore at night (try not to get arrested), participate in a flash mob or parade, find a local Ghetto Gourmet dinner and get involved, go to an event that is outside of your usual scene, climb a tree and watch the sunset, go on a roadtrip, make music together, or go camping in winter. Do something that puts you both outside of your usual comfort zone and it will bring you closer together.