Since the dawn of mankind, men and women have boggled their minds trying to understand one another. Moreover, men have struggled to figure out what it takes to make the women in their lives happy.

Honestly guys, while women can be very complex, most don’t require much to keep them happy. I asked both single and attached women alike, “What does it take to keep you happy in a relationship?” In no particular order, here’s how they answered in the form of ten helpful tips.

How to Keep the Woman in Your Life Happy
photography by kalandrakas

1) Be yourself. This is the probably the easiest piece of advice one could give you, but it’s simply the truth. For instance, don’t act like a “bad boy” just because she’s only dated “bad boys” in the past. There’s a reason why she fell for you in the first place, so just continue being yourself, cause it’s working for you.

2) Do little things for her. Offer to pick-up her dry cleaning or buy her a bag of her favorite gummy bears; these simple gestures show that you care and are thinking of her on a regular basis, says Patty, 26. There’s a fine line though, she continues, “Don’t get whipped. You gotta have some of your own stances to remain of interest to her.”

3) Appreciate her. Remember to say please and thank you, and don’t be afraid to tell her that you appreciate all she does for you. Nidia, 28 says, “I have a sense of value about myself and I want to know that he values me just as much.” Not taking each other for granted and appreciating her is key in a good relationship.

4) Keep your eyes on her. Girls get that guys have a wandering eye—a Victoria Secret model look-alike comes in your line of vision, and we know you’re going to gawk! (Girls do it too, but we’re just more tactful and/or slick about it.) When you’re with your girl, be respectful and keep all googly-eyed staring to a minimum. This is not to say only have eyes for her, but definitely be mindful that this behavior may bother her and mess with her self-confidence.

5) Keep her laughing. A good sense of humor is another no-brainer way to keep your girl. Kudos to you if making her laugh comes naturally, but don’t worry if she doesn’t get your humor right off. Keep her laughing, as “it will be harder to make her mad with a smile on both your faces,” proclaims Patricia, 29.

6) Take interest in something she’s passionate about. You love sports and she loves the ballet. It’s not necessary to be into the same things, however, understanding the reasons why she’s passionate about ballet wouldn’t be a bad idea. Showing interest in something she cares about shows you care about her, and infinitely makes her feel good about herself and the relationship.

7) Keep yourself groomed. Okay, you got her…but that’s not an open invitation to stop caring about your appearance! Keep eating healthy and hitting the gym. Continue to shave (unless she likes you scruffy), trim unwanted ear and nose hairs, and wear clean and stylish clothes. (If you never cared much about these grooming rituals, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start.)

8) Be open to getting to know her family and friends. “If he is open to the idea [of getting to know them], it means he cares about knowing who is important in your life, and the people that helped shape the way you are,” states Kyla, 25. It’s a great way to show your gal that you’re serious; a commitment statement. “Also, having a guy who is confident enough to have fun hanging out with [your] friends is a great trait.”

9) Be considerate. For instance, if you’re running late to meet her or decided to join a few co-workers for drinks before heading home, be considerate and let her know. I know what you’re probably thinking—it’s unnecessary because you don’t keep tabs on each other and she’s not your “keeper”. That’s not the case at all. “Telling us ahead of time that you have to cancel or are running late is always a good idea and will result in a better outcome…especially if an argument is involved,” says Patricia, 29.

10) Be open to trying new things. Don’t let your relationship become too predictable and monotonous. Keep things fresh – be willing to try new things together. “It keeps [the relationship] enjoyable and you learn more about the person’s likes and dislikes,” Monina, 25 says.

Obviously, there are some girls that require much more attention and care than the aforementioned. Provided she’s not super needy or a gold-digger, following these simple tips can make a difference in your relationship, whether it’s new and blossoming or long-term and solid.



Comments

75 Responses to “How to Keep the Woman in Your Life Happy”

  1. mochi chic on March 11th, 2008 3:27 pm

    All of the above. I just wanna add one more: “Extra bootie points if you wash the dishes.”

  2. ladymo on March 12th, 2008 6:17 pm

    happiness starts with yourself. don’t count on any man to make you happy.

  3. fatsdominio on March 12th, 2008 6:22 pm

    It all starts in the bedroom. If you can make her happy there then you got no problems. I never ask her for sex even though I want it myself. Most guys can’t do this because they can’t hold out long enough for the payoff. This will only improve your relationship so try it for crying out loud.

  4. julian James on March 12th, 2008 7:39 pm

    Many women wonder why men don’t want to get married.

  5. Miss Cellania on March 13th, 2008 10:34 am

    Any ONE of these things would make me very happy!

  6. Joe on March 13th, 2008 2:14 pm

    I like how men are talked to like dogs; “do this, do this, do this”. This is not helpful; it’s crap. You want a childish relationship, by all means, follow her suggestions. If you want an adult relationship, it’s going to be both people, not one person acting like a begging puppy.

  7. justin on March 13th, 2008 9:57 pm

    SERIOUSLY!!!! if you’re in the dating world, and these things are not obvious to you as a guy, then it’s time you take the next girl willing to sleep with you and marry her because you’re a loser. Every guy knows these things but the reality is that with most girls, we don’t care enough and know what we can get away with. If a girl is special enough to date “seriously” these “truths” are held self-evident. It’s literally ingrained in our DNA as innate, instinctual behavior. Girls just have to realize that the problem isn’t that we don’t know these things, it’s that you’re too boring to make us want to care that much.

  8. The Voice of Reason on March 13th, 2008 10:01 pm

    You know girls, tons of men have these attributes. Tons of men would love to be this affectionate, caring, and respectful. But these men get ignored. Are invisible. Partly because they are shy, but often because you girls tend to go after the “rugged asshole.”

    Even if you don’t go after the asshole-playa, you should probably get your girlfriends to stop. Men think logically. “I’m not getting what I want (read: a woman). How do I get it? This guy over here is successful, how is he doing it so I can try his methods?”

    Men only listen to what you say for the first 18 years of their lives. Then they learn and only listen to what you DO.

    Collectively, enforce your standards and you might find that you no longer have the need to post such lists.

  9. Larz Blackman on March 13th, 2008 10:08 pm

    I usually despise these lists, but this one was respectful of both sexes. Then you’ve got the women to look out for like Mochi Chic: “Extra bootie points for washing the dishes?” Look, I’ll wash the dishes just to be nice — dangle your ass like a carrot before the horse and you lose my respect.

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  11. Joe Lattari on March 13th, 2008 10:17 pm

    Another thing that helps is if a guy can cook, trust me. I can cook well and my girlfriend loves it, especially when she watches me cook.

  12. VoiceO'Reason on March 13th, 2008 10:20 pm

    What they say /= What they do

    Goes for both sexes.

  13. Matt on March 13th, 2008 10:20 pm

    And what about making a man happy? If I am happy in the relatioship then I will go overboard to do all these things for my woman but if she just expects me to do this without getting something back then she is so mistaken.
    There is no I in team for a darned good reason. So girls, you want your man to do all this on the list, then do all that and more to him. You get back what you give.

  14. m on March 13th, 2008 10:23 pm

    Obviously written by a woman. The only real method is be a complete asshole. “THE VOICE OF REASON” put it well.

  15. Jeff on March 13th, 2008 10:29 pm

    Just tell her to get her ass in the kitchen and make you a sandwich. If she does it, she’s a keeper. Oh and tell her you like her around and stuff.

  16. james on March 13th, 2008 10:36 pm

    After all the “struggles” women have gone through over the past 30+ years, this “list” sure does send them back awhile.

    “Treat me like Im a Queen, I am a woman, therefore, I deserve it”

    Just how does one treat someone equal, when they want to be made to feel special and reminded that we care and/or thinking of her? A CHILD needs constant reminders and nurturing, NOT an ADULT.

  17. Rio on March 13th, 2008 10:40 pm

    If I’m going to be a lady’s personal escort and manwhore, I expect payment upfront – because I know I’ll be kicked to the kerb later when she evntually tires of me and a shiny new man pops up.
    Then again, bing used for sex isn’t all that bad.

  18. Doug Brenner on March 13th, 2008 10:41 pm

    While I do most of these, I can’t imagine or remember my woman doing more than two of these things for me, and we’ve been married 21 years.

  19. Josiah on March 13th, 2008 10:46 pm

    This post is incorrect. The correct response is to give her my phone number.

  20. Josiah on March 13th, 2008 10:46 pm

    Joke. That was a joke.

  21. relax on March 13th, 2008 10:50 pm

    relax people all you have to do is switch the him to her in any of them

  22. wow on March 13th, 2008 10:51 pm

    you mean her to him you flippin r tard

  23. knows better on March 13th, 2008 10:52 pm

    This list is great advice on how to keep her happy…if the only woman in your life is your mom.

    But in the dating relationship world, this list needs a huge reality check.

    1. Don’t be obedient like this article suggests. Be a challenge, but in a good way. If she really only wanted the author’s list, she could just get one of those little squeaky lap dogs.No woman respects a pushover.

    2. give her orgasms.
    3. give her believable and honest compliments. It’s even better if it’s in front of other people.
    4. don’t be predictable, but be strong and make decisions. Take the initiative.
    5. make her jealous, but only a little bit. women value even more what other women want.
    6. flirt with her, even after she’s yours.
    7. be imaginative, be passionate.
    8. repeat step 2.

  24. Ron Ludle on March 13th, 2008 11:09 pm

    For once, I just wish that all you moron guys would just shut up for a second. You put fake names and hide behind your I’m better than this list attitude. Look where it got you…you’re being kept warm in bed by the fan from your laptop.

  25. Bryan on March 13th, 2008 11:26 pm

    I was everything on this list to the girl in my life and somehow it still failed. at least I know I was on the right track.

  26. james on March 13th, 2008 11:29 pm

    This is all crap the women think they want or at least wish they had. The truth is that as soon as you start doing this BS the sooner they’ll be looking for a real man that treats them the exact opposite. It doesn’t hurt to pull this crap off during the dating phase but you still need to keep them guesting and limit it to just enough to placate them. Women have a lot of fantasies that don’t measure up to reality. They need to feel needed (loved) and protected (safe, emotionally, financially and physically). Some regular daily attention and loving is all that’s needed. If you run into one that is different then move on to a normal woman.

  27. tobesters on March 14th, 2008 12:45 am

    Bah…

    The whole thing about treating girls mean to keep em keen… really… you don’t have to do that. Good communication is paramount, and if you enter all those games you’ll be obscuring your proper channels of communications with a curtain of BS. Sure there’s people who are bitter and have their own reasons, but being straight up is going to keep us all on track. Don’t fall pray to that advice – if the relationship failed, playing games will only make future relationships worse, and keeping your partner on their toes isn’t a good place to grow love.

  28. Dr. Neptune on March 14th, 2008 1:15 am

    Women are shallow, self centered and heartless.

    The real question women need to ask themselves is “WHAT WILL I OFFER IN RETURN?” You know the answer? NOTHING!!!!

  29. Another James on March 14th, 2008 1:24 am

    As a guy how has been very happily married for ten years, I have to say that I don’t think this is good advice.

    If you have to go out of your way all of the time to do stuff for your wife so that she is happy, then you’ve married the wrong woman. You’ll just start to resent all the effort you’re putting in just to make her happy.

    Some women seem to believe that they are some kind of gift to their man and they deserve special treatment because they are a woman. Avoid these types, you won’t be happy with them.

  30. Andrew on March 14th, 2008 1:42 am

    thanks for the list.. ill write in my notes..

  31. David Palmer on March 14th, 2008 1:59 am

    I do all the above and a lot more, the more I do the more she wants.

    Yet she does NOTHING for me.

    She wants independence but if I give her that she says I am not being supportive.

    I have come to the conclusion that she is an ungrateful bitch.

    She even puts her own needs before those of the kids.

    I have spent years trying to accommodate her needs while at the same time I have had nothing but contempt from her.

    It seems inevitable that we must part, she would be gone tomorrow if she could afford it.

    Sadly we have to work a way to split up that does not hurt the kids, but I know that she will make it hell for all concerned.

  32. dave on March 14th, 2008 2:11 am

    I like that #1 is Be Yourself and everything that follows tells me to be someone else. I don’t really care about making someone happy too much. It’s not my problem. If a woman is unhappy or miserable for whatever reason, I don’t wanna hear it. She must go.

    This is more stupid drivel than even Oprah could stomach… and that’s a lot of drivel.

  33. THE LIGHT on March 14th, 2008 2:17 am

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_community

    Supporters of this community typically believe that the conventional dating advice for men is fatally flawed.[14] For example, they reject the notion that men should attempt to woo women by spending money on them (e.g. buying drinks, presents, jewelry), calling it “supplication”.[15]. They also discourage flattery.[16] They believe that physical looks are less important to women in selection of a partner than they are to men, as evidenced by top gurus who rated poorly with their looks on a Hot or Not style of website[17] (Template:verify). Many members of the seduction community work on their “game” (seduction skills) by improving their understanding of female psychology, their confidence and self-esteem (termed “inner game”), and their social skills and physical appearance (physical fitness, fashion sense, grooming) (“outer game”). Many members of the community believe that one’s “game” is refined through regular practice,[18] with the idea that the abilities needed to interact with women can be improved.

  34. Bob on March 14th, 2008 2:41 am

    Once the baby is born this list is all garbage.

    BTW… when women want to play, they want a player. When they want to settle down they’ll take Mr. Safe. Nowadays, though, most don’t know how to make that transition. So, they try to fix or change a player and get upset that they can’t.
    Then, when the baby is born, they only want a man who will do what they say and when, but most of all they want a money man. If you don’t bring home the bacon, you’ll never hear the end of the complaints. Even if you do earn good money, they want to control everything connect to the kids… good luck if you fight it.

    Best is to find a honest women who is generous. You can always have lovers on the side and you won’t get old early from all of the arguements.

  35. pligg.com on March 14th, 2008 2:47 am

    How to Keep the Woman in Your Life Happy…

    Since the dawn of mankind, men and women have boggled their minds trying to understand one another. Moreover, men have struggled to figure out what it takes to make the women in their lives happy.

    Honestly guys, while women can be very complex, most…

  36. For Bryan on March 14th, 2008 2:48 am

    Bryan, you weren’t on the right track. When the relationship fails, it’s always your fault, not hers. You didn’t been a jerk, you were the opposite, you’ve been too good to her. That’s why the relationship failed, because you have not been the strong, powerful and masculine MAN he truly wants.

  37. asdf on March 14th, 2008 3:25 am

    Thanks a lot for this article.
    this will help our pammi

  38. Cartman.Fatboy on March 14th, 2008 3:27 am

    Caught this link on Del.icio.us/popular.
    Its a shame so many people have made this cosmo-crap a “popular” page. Damn

  39. Pathetic on March 14th, 2008 3:35 am

    I like how all the girls asked are young. The oldest (29?) seriously could only be in a serious relation for ten years at most and you think she’s going to be having the same perspective in life when she hits fourty? I guess the author is too dumb to figure it out but 80% of divorced people are not in their twenties. They’ve lived together long enough to see how their lives come about. Everyone knows when your young everything’s great, it’s later on down the road that matters and none of these women have that experience. Pathetic article.

  40. divorced on March 14th, 2008 3:52 am

    Women have become spoiled bitches. Even if you do all these things many times it’s not enough. They “want it all”. There has been a self entitlement trend growing in women for years via the feminism movement and it has gotten way out of control. Having been down this road I can tell you that being “a perfect gentleman” and doing all the things on this list plus some will add to this self entitlement and cause her to be unhappy. Happiness starts from within. It has little to do with what he does or does not do. Women need to grow up and quickly get over this idea of having it all. Men are getting shafted and shit on left and right and can’t figure out why. Feminism. Women think they can work full timem have kids and maintain a happy marriage. The reality is they cannot. Marriage or any relationship is a partnership that takes commitment, sharing and work. Expecting men to do all the work while women reap the rewards is shit and doesn’t work. It like this ladies: Have a career OR have a family. You CANNOT have both and you CANNOT expect men to cater to this whimsical fantasy. Wake up! Be a wife and a mother OR a valued member of the work force. You can’t expect to have both while expecting men to work, be a father and a husband and cater to your every whim. It’s just not realistic. It’s a fantasy. Leave it in lala land check back into reality and join the relationship by picking up your half of the duties and commitment. If you want a family forget about the career OR the husband needs to take over the matriarchal role of yesteryear, which isn’t a problem. The problem is expecting too much and giving too little.
    RING RING RING it’s the clue phone ladies and it’s for YOU!

  41. Gib on March 14th, 2008 4:08 am

    I’ve done all of the above mentioned the problem that we all want our bread buttered on both side…

    Be nice, be considerate, be a man…sure, when girls have that they tend to take it for granted so guys just go both ways…

    keep her on her toes….Yes girls you guys like being messed with make her beg for your attention by giving more away to other girls.

    Its a game and the longer you play it the better you will get.

    And love, seriously…its an illusion. Being the perfect guy might get you the girl but they, like you will never stay!

  42. How to keep the woman in your life happy on March 14th, 2008 4:15 am

    Url Posted at C4G Forum…

    Honestly guys, while women can be very complex, most don’t require much to keep them happy. I aske……

  43. Fred on March 14th, 2008 4:43 am

    I’ve been married 28 years and a successful relationship depends on may factors. It is very difficult to state “definitive” do’s and don’ts because everyone has different needs, but here are my suggestions for both sexes:

    l. Be honest (but with tact)
    2. Show interest in what he/she has to say (even when it bores you)
    3. Maintain your individuality (and don’t expect your partner to give up theirs)
    4. Be flexible

  44. Cory on March 14th, 2008 5:00 am

    I agree with those who posted the notion that women both:

    a) Shouldn’t assume they need a man to be happy and should be able to give themselves all they need for themselves, and;

    b) People should be looking towards an ADULT relationship where both people are understanding, thoughtful, and realistic. A childish relationship is one where there’s a constant need of attention, catering to every need, one-sided “I’m a female, therefore I’m the queen” attitude, and an inate desire to be swept off your feet on a daily basis.

    I would just like to say that if you find the right person, they are going to understand that if you remove the gender from the situation, there are simply two people in the room, and we all like and deserve someone in our lives that we truly enjoy. If you really care for each other and just like being around each other, then that list up there will happen on it’s own.

    Yes, i understand that applying that list to women will help you get to that point in a relationship. I just want it to be said that more people need to calm down, read LESS cosmopolitan magazine (that mag will warp a women’s mind in less than 20 pages), and just get out there and enjoy everyone you meet. It’s a healthy approach to life, and it brings you more than you’ll ever know.

    Last point. I absolutely agree with the one who posted that you can’t be a pushover. That’s something that applies to women as well. I work as a mechanic and most of those men are the “make me a sandwich” variety. They say i need to find one of ‘those’ women. Why? So i can talk to her about her day, which was the same as the day the before, and they day before that? I want someone who has her own job, and car, and well, her own life. I won’t be paying for all those shoes she’s buying, albeit it’s always nice to do something for someone, but she needs to be able to take care of herself and show some self-respect. If not, i won’t respect her. So it goes both ways.

    Don’t listen to rules or steps or what anyone really says (including me!)…..simply put, if it feels healthy, you’ll know it, and you’ll want to take care of it. The title of this article should have been “SOME things to keep the “PERSON” in your life happy” as it’s obvious, universal stuff…..although only to those with a relatively healthy heart and mind. Good luck everyone.

  45. Kevin on March 14th, 2008 5:37 am

    Listen to “The Voice of Wisdom” ladies. I did all this and more to an ex girlfriend I had. I gave her my world and treated her like a queen. After 6 years together and numerous talks about marriage and kids I found out she was bangin some spikey haired, faggy looking bartender. You might be thinking I was bad in the sack, but the orgasm count was usually her 5 to 10 to my 1 to 2. I made sure to knock the bottom out every time. So you can take these lists and shove it. I haven’t dated one girl since that appreciates these attributes you list. They all want the arrogant jerk that is going to hit it and quit it. Most of my female friends are like this as well. They come to me crying every week because the pretty boy they were dating was all nice and shiny on the outside but pure evil on the inside. And you know what. They go out and do it all over again every time. I don’t have any compassion for these girls and any others in the same situation because YOU CAUSED IT! YOU MADE MEN THIS WAY! Men stopped doing these things when you stopped appreciating them. The nice guys (like the ones in your list) never get the girl. No, you want the spikey haired faggy guy to do all these things in your list. Give me a break. You don’t deserve it. You would just leave him for the next arrogant jerk to come along. Enjoy your one night stands while you can and 500 cats when you get old.

  46. scott smith on March 14th, 2008 6:17 am

    If this stuff wasn’t obvious to you before you read this then read it again and save your macho reverse sexism comments for the fellas at work.
    Most of us are so friggin self-centered we aren’t listening or even thinking about other people.
    Honesty has given me a loving, long term relationship to a beautiful woman.
    You can be rugged and sweet at the same time.

  47. andy on March 14th, 2008 7:03 am

    okay, here’s how it goes. the list is all well and good, but there are a lot of women who certainly are bitches and will walk all over you. just treat her how you’d like to be treated. if she doesn’t appreciate it and reciprocate, move on and find another woman that will. there is no list of things that will make every woman happy, or even most. different women want different things, and unfortunately, none of them even know what they want. relationships take work. if you try your best to treat her well, and she is happy and does the same for you, that’s wonderful. it DOES happen. but if she requires more than you can give her, she’ll find someone who can give her what she requires. and you should find someone who will be happy with what you can give them.

  48. Bobo Honkystonks on March 14th, 2008 7:10 am

    Herein lies the flaw: The study is based on responses from women, who, ultimately never say what they mean, and rarely mean what they say. Women will generally give a response based on how they want to appear or be perceived, rather on how they actually feel. Generally ( and I usually hate to generalize or stereotype, but in this case there are studies that show this) women want to appear to others as “low-maintenance”. There isn’t a woman in the world (that I have met anyway) that will say it takes a lot to keep her happy. The list should read more like this:

    1) Be yourself – unless of course there is something she doesn’t like and wants to change about you. However, once she has successfully changed it, she will no longer have respect for you and will dump you or cheat on you anyway.

    2) Do little things for her – just make sure they are the things she wants you to do for her, of course she will never tell you what these are and if you’re not successful in understanding what they are “you know nothing about her” in which case she now resents you and will dump you or cheat on you.

    3) Appreciate her – but expect not to be appreciated.

    4) Keep your eyes on her – don’t tell her she’s getting fat, don’t tell her she’s letting herself go… but, in the end, she resents you for not telling her when she realizes it for herself and finally comes out of denial… in which case, she starts going to the gym and “focusing on her” prior to “focusing on someone new” dumping you or cheating on you…

    5) Keep her laughing. – but damnit, don’t act like a child… don’t have too much fun… don’t be silly in public places… don’t go have fun with your buddies…. oh, and after you do those things, she no longer thinks your fun, then dumps you or cheats on you.

    6) Take interest in something she’s passionate about. – but don’t get too involved with it. Don’t want to do what she is passionate about… just appreciate that she is…and oh… give up the things that you are passionate about, like music, because those things only detract from the relationship. After you have given them up of course, she no longer respects you and dumps you or cheats on you.

    7) Keep yourself groomed. – But don’t make too much effort at this, because if you do… she either belives your gay, or trimming up for someone else. In which case, she feels the need for revenge and dumps you or cheats on you.

    8) Be open to getting to know her family and friends – Never contradict her when she is dealing with her family even if you don’t agree with her position. Make sure you don’t have her parents liking you too much, otherwise she thinks you’re just conspiring with them to take over her life. In which case she dumps you or cheats on you.

    9) Be considerate. – But don’t expect the same courtesy. Afterall, she is not thinking about cheating on you or dumping you….

    10) Be open to trying new things. – Don’t expect her to tell you what those new things are that she wants… just figure them out. Of course if you don’t… she resents you, then dumps you or cheats on you.

    11) Don’t take my list too seriously – It was written in fun, with some underlying truths, I guess it just goes back to the oldest addage… can’t live with them… can’t kill them. :)

  49. Mr. BS on March 14th, 2008 7:11 am

    This is crap. The nicer you are, the worse they become. This works both ways of course. There’s a good reason all the “assholes” are getting what they want, while nice guys are left in the corner.

  50. Jeff on March 14th, 2008 7:26 am

    Wow, this article makes women sound like idiot pets or some sort of plant for visual aesthetics or a child…

    So basically what you’re saying is that women are high maintenance and can be pigeonholed into a set of instructions? Sadly, not far off!

  51. Tim on March 14th, 2008 7:45 am

    if two people truly love one another, they won’t need guidelines. Not that relationships don’t take work, they do, they certainly do, but in this day and age of people trying to figure out what life is, I ask you consider this – if an individual knows what life is for themselves, outside of influences from media, friends and family, then they know what love really is and it won’t be so hard, nor will it sound like women, and men, are completely unsatisfied with each other. first take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to remove the splinter from your brother’s or sister’s eye

  52. ED. on March 14th, 2008 7:49 am

    @Bobo Honkystonks

    hahaha that was really good ;) nice comment!

  53. Jajayjay on March 14th, 2008 8:50 am

    Do these things, and nothing will ever go wrong in your relationship. Your beloved woman will never be upset or angry or unhappy.

    Oh wait, that’s not quite right, is it? Bobo, you nailed it.

  54. Tyler on March 14th, 2008 9:38 am

    Spend quality time with your lady, that’s a very important lesson that I learned.

  55. WIlbur on March 14th, 2008 9:39 am

    What women say they want is very different from what they actually want.

    Bobo pretty much nails it, albeit in a snarky way.

    Treat a woman like a nice guy, and she will steamroll right over you in her quest to get to the next bad boy who will “entice” and “tease” her without doing any of the items on the list above.

  56. KC on March 14th, 2008 9:53 am

    A woman’s mood cannot be changed by kindness from her man. I think the list implies that it can be, which is not true. If a woman is unhappy she will be angry even if her man is an angel… and if a woman is happy, she can even love a man who beats her up every once in a while.

    That being said, the worst thing a woman can do to a good man is to be unhappy. Unfortunately good men are almost powerless to fix this.

    -k

  57. mrogi on March 14th, 2008 10:30 am

    Show me a guy capable of doing all those things and I will screw him instead of my wife.

  58. kd on March 14th, 2008 10:51 am

    Wow. Just…wow… what complete and utter crap.

    As a woman, I can truthfully say, most women expect too much and give too little. They are caught up in the fake perfect lives and relationships they see on TV and in the movies. There are crap daytime TV shows, magazines and online articles like this one telling them it is OK to demand what they want (or think they might want) and take it at the expense of their partner and even their children.

    Get. Over. Yourself. You are far from perfect, so why should you expect someone else to be? I know I’m not, and don’t know any woman or man who is…

    For the past two months, I’ve been dating someone who has been treated like crap by his ex-wife and a couple of girlfriends. He is surprised when I offer to get him a beer, cook him dinner or do his dishes, when I won’t let him pay my way for dinner or other activities, and when I compliment him. He is constantly asking me, “Is this OK with you?”, as though I might have a freak out at him for the slightest thing.

    I have to wonder what sort of demanding idiots most women have become if this poor man felt as though he had to constantly be on guard with his words and his actions while with those other women. He has finally figured out I like him just the way he is, and he can be himself around me. Yes, he really can be himself – they way he thinks, talks and behaves is why I am attracted to him.

    Oh, and for the record, he is several years older than me, bald, not particularly rugged (rather geeky actually!), sweet, adorable, kind, considerate, helpful (he vacuumed while I made dinner and did laundry last night), fantastic in the bedroom (or wherever else we feel like it!), makes me laugh, and we can really talk to each other about anything and everything.

    Probably the one thing from the list I partially agree with is “Do little things”, but not quite the same way as intended in this article. For me, the “little things” would be cleaning up after yourself and having consideration for the other person, but this applies to both men and women. Actually, this applies to everyone – if people had more consideration for each other, i.e. considered how their actions or words might adversely impact others, I think there would be a lot less stress and frustration in the world. OK, I’m getting off the “world would be a better place if” soapbox…

    Guys, there are women out there who will appreciate you just as you are – dump the princesses! After they’ve been dumped enough times, maybe they’ll get a clue…

  59. Taylor Satula on March 16th, 2008 6:29 pm

    I like the first jeff’s comment even if its not true

  60. dd on March 16th, 2008 8:08 pm

    all this for what? to live in a doghouse?

    sounds too wussy to me… you’ll make her happy not yourself.

  61. SHARE-BARE on July 5th, 2008 5:10 pm

    I love it! I’d replace ’4) Keep your eyes’ on her with ‘Keep her satifisfied in the bedroom’. That’s just my opinion. I really wouldn’t mind if guys have wandering eyes. What matters most is are the ones they come home to.

  62. Welcome to the R V Knights’s Weblog « Rvknights’s Weblog on July 15th, 2008 9:30 pm
  63. Kris Leslie on July 17th, 2008 6:15 am

    This is a great read! I would like to add one thing possibly that people tend to forget. This goes for females and males. Do exactly what sparked interest in your mate when you met for the first time or dated. In life, we tend to forget and stop doing what brought us together in the first place.

    Ladies, if that means wearing that smoking hot red or black dress that caught his eye, then continue to do that. Men, if it was great cologne or maybe a blazer, button down shirt and jeans that got your lady burning with desire then continue to do it!

    The problem is that the more comfortable you get with your mate, the easier it is to let yourself become relaxed and stop going the extra mile to keep things spicy. Do yourself a favor, take a journey back to what started it all and see what new things you can do to drive your mate wild with attraction.

  64. Another 15 Songs to Get You Pumped Up : ploomy - what men need to know on August 14th, 2008 9:26 am

    [...] video games.” Although playing video games isn’t something you will see on the list on How to Keep the Woman in Your Life Happy, Maynard James Keenan will get you pumped up to waste every enemy who tries to stop your badass [...]

  65. Diane on September 5th, 2008 7:48 am

    Lord help me I’m more confused

  66. Ruzanna on November 28th, 2008 8:37 am

    i like the first thing mentioned here ‘be yourself’. this is quite enough for me, because if a person is not attentive to his girlfriend, than he will show this up somehow. if he his not, then buying flowers, bags, shaving or wearing clean clothes will not help. do not pretend you are someone who you actually or not. just be yourself and you’ll find at least someone who wants to meet a guy just like as you are.

  67. Joel on December 5th, 2008 11:17 am

    I’m with a girl who complains about how I’m serious all the time and wants to change these things about me, but I’m definitely NOT buckling in to her demands, as she forgets about things as soon as she gets what she wants. Also, she was being a bit of a bitch so instead, i stopped and actually kind of told her off about it, sounds harsh, but she suddenly went all apologetic and melted down.
    Men, don’t ever back down and be yourselves, no woman should ever change you into someone you don’t want to be

  68. JJ on February 23rd, 2009 5:40 pm

    Ok, ok, ok. So I’ve read this whole thing, and every comment and I must say….
    WOW. There are a lot of conflicting ideas out there, and all of them with some validity too. However, the only reason such diversity exists is because people are diverse in their experiences and expectations. Start off by yes, BE YOURSELF, by all means, because that way you are NOT pretending to “be ok” with things that in the future will really start bumming you out. So, if they like you for who you are, then you’re on the right track.
    Now, as for “changing”, I don’t think that is very realistic. Men and Women both don’t want to change -and when they do, it is usually ONLY FOR THEMSELF, AS IT SHOULD BE THAT WAY. We are motivated to change because we want ourselves to be something different, something better, something more. No one else can ask this of us, because if they do, they insult us for the person we are today. That can’t be good for a relationship!
    So what is the solution? Why are there so many conflicting ideas? Well, I will tell you why, it is because I never took the time to sit down and write the world’s bestselling book: “How to Make and Keep Your Love Happy”, which, I have been seriously thinking about writing for a while now, even giving seminars on the subject.
    Why? What makes me so qualified? Well, I will tell you that too. I am qualified, I believe for two reasons. One, I am and have been both the world’s most happiest lover and most saddest lover back and forth my whole life, finally now seeing the light of my own experiences and what caused and created them. Two, I’m a kick ass writer who tells it like it is, with a deep perspective on human emotions, and a first hand ability to solve problems for others. Don’t ask me how, but I do. Unless, of course, it is my own problem, then I refer back to reason #1, my experience.
    Let me just leave you with a tidbit of wisdom, for all those truly needing an answer for their relationship today. Women, take it a notch down, just a bit. A little half-knotch, just a smidgeon. Men, take it up a notch, just a bit, a little tiny sparkle of additional effort. Women, give it a tiny bit more grace than you are used to giving. Men, put in just a tad more caring about the other side for a moment. Now, both of you: think before you speak your next sentence.
    We all can’t get all along all the time, but trying is an effort that both will play at differently. If we can recognize the other person’s effort, even though it isn’t what we wanted to see from them, we might have a tad more ability to appreciate the other person’s side.
    You see, it is all about perspective, and for those who truly do love, but are hurt all the time anyways, just know it is going both ways, and both parties are just not translating their words and efforts and desires in an audible manner for the other party to understand.
    If you want to love and be loved in return, you’ve got to drag it out of yourself to share respectfully what is going on and how you feel about it, without limiting it to what is wrong with the other person. You also have to be willing to take it to the limits of human endurance to get to the end of the road sometimes, to get to the peak of understanding. Don’t walk away until it is settled, until it is released, until you both feel you know what happened and why, when things are jacked up and you are both feeling like crap about each other and about yourselves.
    My advice is simple, but not easy to do. It works, but we don’t always feel like it is worth it to do it this way. There are some really great specific examples that I know will help some of you at home right now. Men, if you want your woman to be happy, do this: Stand up for yourself without being a prick, but also be willing to hear her UNDERLYING MESSAGE when she complains about _________. What is that underlying message?: “TELL ME YOU CARE ABOUT ME. REASSURE ME! MAKE ME KNOW I AM SPECIAL TO YOU AND THAT ALL THIS CRAP WILL WORK OUT BECAUSE I AM WITH YOU BABY, I AM HERE FOR YOU BABY.”
    Women, if you want to be happy do this: Smile more, show your man he is doing a good job at what he is doing when he does good! And once in a great while,
    speak what is the REAL way you feel, not the reason you feel it or the thing you complain about because of the reason. Once in a while give a bone that doesn’t require intuitive translation. The guys will be thankful for the break.
    Men, show your women you love them by ignoring their outer words of discontentment, and hearing their inner voice, like a little girl, that says do you love me? I need to feel appreciated, respected, adored.
    Women, show your men you love them by acknowledging their work and show them respect by appreciating their efforts, regardless of results and outcome.
    Men, make your women happy by not fighting with them over trivial shit they throw out to get your attention. They don’t want to fight with you, they want you to notice them, their struggles are with life, not you, they need you to validate their struggle, not fix it for them or tell them it isn’t so bad. They want to you take them in your arms and hug the worries out of them, kiss the fears away, gird them up in confidence by telling them verbally, yes with words, that you will always have their back. You will always be the one they can count on in times of need. Tell them daily. Tell them as often as they start bitching and moaning over what seems completely trivial. Because it is trivial, and they know it, but they don’t have a way to say, “I need you to reassure me. I need you to notice that my stress is too much for me right now. I need you to lift the burden of worry off my shoulders.” You see men, women are saying all these things to you and more, if you had a translator you would hear it perfectly clear as a bell. Women say these things every time they complain about this or that TO YOU, and every time you think they are acting and being a total bitch for no reason, or that they are just crazy, ungrateful heartless creatures who want to suck you dry and leave you for dead, well, they are saying as loud as they can “LOVE ME!!! NEED ME!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! FULFILL YOUR PROMISES TO NEVER LEAVE ME!! REASSURE ME OF YOUR INTENTIONS!!! You see, the ladies aren’t as self assured as they may have the men believe.
    Women, give the guys a break once in a while, and be the one to offer to relieve the stresses for them. it isn’t so hard to imagine that both parties, being human and all, will need this from the other from time to time. Women, it is important to not always be the one in need, in turmoil, in crisis. Sometimes the guys just need to pass off the baton and give over the next leg of the race to you for a moment. Be the one to lift their burden as well, and you both should be appreciating the benefits of this new realized compatibility.
    If any of this helped just a single soul, well, then, I’ve done my job here. Peace, out.

  69. Rachael Nelson on March 31st, 2009 7:36 am

    I agree that is all we women want in a man. Happiness is a choice. The Bible says it’s others then your self. Selfishness is what leads to Divorce. Inlaws never butting is a huge cause for fights with Couples also. Couples your #1 in God’s book. Inlaws are #2 in God’s book. Follow the Jewish book and you can have a happy life as a family kids/mates together. Live in a cheaper home with less stuff also.
    America is to Have stuff to imprese others you don’t know or like either.
    Though shown not Convet is in the Bible.
    God’s will is what is missing in famalies today.
    Guys take over at home with a at home Mom.
    Pray together as a couple and as a family.
    Couples alone time is a must.
    The key is keep each other happy as The Jewish book says to do.
    Men treat your wife as you did when you were dateing.
    Women treat your man like you did when dateing.
    Parent your kids God’s way.
    Obey the Bible and your life can be Great together.

  70. dbwheeldon on July 12th, 2009 4:40 am

    ■Bobo Honkystonks-YOU ARE THE MAN!!
    ■kd-WILL YOU MARRY ME?

  71. wandile on July 26th, 2009 3:25 am

    woman are very complex and trying to master them can take you whole life. the best thing to do is to make her feel that you as her husband have no place to go without her alow her realize that you are fully dependant on her. that is to say you are what you are because of her.

  72. amy marie on August 28th, 2009 4:03 pm

    girls,,, we are not that hard to get !!!! LOVE us ,,, be TRUE to us and yea laughing with you is good too !!! (and for mr the sex is huge too)

  73. Asht on October 25th, 2010 1:16 am

    Compliment her looks (you did in the first place–or should have– so keep it up. as she should if it matters to you). Even the most confident girl/woman usually appreciates a compliment about her looks from the man she loves.

  74. jon on May 12th, 2011 4:04 pm

    The first part an American man must know about in keeping an american woman happy,is having a crap load of money.Remember and take note,it doesnt matter what you look like,what your hobbies are,how you treat your woman or if you have anything in common.A woman will like you irregardless,especially the goldigging ones with low self esteem…

    If you find a goldigger with bad self esteem,and have a lot of money and treat her badly,she will love you forever.

    If you have no money,prepare to live a life of lonliness.One thing you can do with goldigging woman is lie to them,I mean if they are only after your money,there is no harm in meeting them on their lower intellectual level,and being as shallow as they are.

  75. tjladybug on July 14th, 2012 10:20 am

    I learned a lot here. thanks to everyone who responded. I now realisie how much I love my boyfriend. He’s real, he’s been honest, he does what he can and tells me when he’s having trouble. We fight/argue and stand up for ourselves and for each other. I guess that is the “tension” we need and if everything was always perfect and he did what I wanted without me asking clearly, I’d be bored and the same for him: If I did everything perfect for him he’d get bored. Wow! this is great… I’m happy with how our relationship is.

    I make him a sandwhich when he wants one (he says thank you) and he takes out the garbage when I ask him to (I say please). He makes loves to me with candles and romance when I ask him to and I agree to to have a quickie when he wants it that way.

    Looking at other people?? I don’t think either one of us ever does it (I guess he’s been pretty slick about it). I’m so glad we found each other and have been patient with each other while we worked out stuff and learned how to ask for what we want and not expect the other person to be a mind reader or a robot.

    I’m glad I’ve decided to forgive stupid stuff (minor things) and I’m glad he forgives my stupid things too. I trust him.

    Be proud of yourself and don’t let anyone doubt your worth – you will find the right person – as for the list: don’t waste time with anyone who you need crib notes to keep happy ,,, good luck out there!




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