Mar 5, 2008

10 Surefire First Date Conversation Tips

6. Show Her Your Carmen Sandiego Side

Travel is always a great first date conversation piece. Talk about where you’ve been, what you learned, what you saw, and where you want to go next. If you’ve done your job, she’ll be picturing herself with you on that next trip. Oh and if you’ve never really left the shire all that much–shame on you!

“Nothing interests me more than a guy that is well-traveled. It shows he is willing to step out and see new things. It’s boring when a guy says ‘Oh, I don’t leave the city much’ or ‘I’ve only been to LA and Vegas.’” - Gina

7. Concentrate on Me Too’s

Concentrate on trying to say “me too.” If she says she loves reality shows, you should say me too! (provided that you do like them). This can be done with movies, TV shows, music, books, hobbies and practically anything. The key here is to try to find things that you are both interested in and you’ll find that things get easier from there.

“Relate to her on the same favorite movie or type of movie you like and analyze them with her. Challenge her on what she thought about the ending.” - Mira

“Shoot for something meaningful–not too deep as it will scare her, but meaty enough to have a real exchange about–but also quirky.” - Dominique

8. Show Her You’re Plugged In

Talk about what’s current. You don’t have to know about all the latest celeb gossip or be up on all the current events (chances are she’s not either). But do notice what’s current with her. Maybe she got a new haircut since the last time you saw her at so and so’s party. Or maybe tell her again what caught your eye about her in the first place. Let her know that you notice her (women love that stuff).

“Give her a compliment or make a comment on something you know she specifically wore for the date. It could be an article of clothing, her hair, shoes, or something decorative like a bracelet. Noticing the little details of the effort she’s made goes a long way.” - Lory

9. Don’t Say We Unless You Mean Wii

Even if the date is going really well don’t jump the gun and talk about future plans together. This will only get you more dates with your PS3 or Xbox. Sure it might work with some women, but majority of the time it scares them off. This is definitely a first date conversation no-no.

“Don’t assume a second date is a given or start saying ‘we this’ and ‘we that.’ Take it slow because you don’t want to come on too strong, too soon.” - Danica

10. Don’t Just Be Yourself, Be You-nique

I know you were waiting to hear “Just Be Yourself,” but you are not going to get that stock answer here. Just be yourself is an old standby answer that everyone will tell you because it’s easy to say and also requires almost no effort. If you are truly into this woman, I challenge you to go above and beyond your usual table talk and be You-nique. Standout! Being you-nique is all about being interesting. Talk about things she’s probably never heard of before. Make her feel like she’s never met anyone else like you. If you follow this last tip just right, I can assure you she’ll be raving to all of her friends about you and calling you for the second date.

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I’d like to thank all the women who submitted their tips on first date conversations. I truly had a lot of fun writing this piece.

Photography by Delgoff.

Pages: PAGE 1 PAGE 2

18 Comments, Comment or Ping

David Carmona (pixellite.com)

“Pretend it’s like Star Trek and use your tractor beam on her, but don’t do the longing eyes googly moogly stuff.”

What an awesome line from the get-go,..Thank you and wonderful articles targeted towards dorks like me. I continue to read your wonderful paragraphs and hopefully…just hopefully….one day,…I’ll be able to talk to a girl….All because of you,…THANK YOU PLOOMY!

I was stuck on visiting men.com, and came to the realization that all they cared about was ad’s,..I love being here.

Mar 6th, 2008
jayleck

Sometimes too much ME TOO’s can get annoying. I prefer to have a little bit of difference with the gal and mix it up. The best first date conversations are the one’s that start off with a good toasting. Good read.

Mar 6th, 2008
Peter Holt

This is horseshit. Women don’t want to be talked to like this. They want you to talk 90% of the time and be manly. This is for sensitive guys only. Wimps.

Mar 7th, 2008
Anna in D.C.

I enjoyed the read. Gentlemen, it’s true you all talk way too much. Make us feel special and make it all about us on the first date.

On the first date….pick us up, pull the chair out for me, let me order first, let me talk before you interrupt, and definitely pay for the bill.

Is that asking for too much?

Mar 7th, 2008
a girl

Peter. Women want men to talk 90% of the time… and bore the shit of her? Either you impress her SO much about yourself that she can care less if you blab all night, OR… you just don’t get laid much. My guess is that you do neither.

Mar 7th, 2008
V-may

1) guys shouldn’t compliment too much.. it makes them
seem insincere. 2 or 3 on a date is great!

2) and avoid touchy subjects like religion and
politics. you want to keep the conversation light and
get to know the person. you don’t want to argue about
different views on the 1st date!!!

Mar 7th, 2008
percy

Based on the comments from the women who contributed to this article, I don’t think I’d date not a one of them. Let guys be guys would you. The last thing we want is to change who we are for you. This is the problem with most girls these days. They read crap like this and then cry to their girlfriends on why he won’t change for you. I am now happily engaged, but have done my fair share of dating in my time. Girls expect guys to kneel before them and tell them everything they want to hear and then get all pissed when we aren’t the same 2 months in. Well I got something for you ladies to hear, we’re not changing. And the ones that do are doing it for the wrong reasons.

Mar 7th, 2008
resultsoriented

Thanks for the article ploomy. Timely for me.

Mar 7th, 2008
Jenn

The best I advice could give you guys is just to be “refreshing”. More than anything just be refreshing.

Mar 7th, 2008
THE ONE

great points….but i go with one simple rule BEING MYSELF…and if she isn’t feeling me then so be it…move on to the next

Mar 7th, 2008
mira

i agree entirely with percy and “the one”. really, just be yourself. why waste time on a broad who won’t like you for who you are. otherwise, you’re working too hard to impress the wrong girl for you.

Mar 7th, 2008
kram

i agree. be yourself. but i think some people here are taking it way over the top. “first date” tips, not “lifetime tips”.

Mar 7th, 2008
trekkie4u

I really tried using my tractor beam on this one girl, but it didn’t work….turns out she’s a freakin Clingon anyways!!! loved the article. if any of you girls out there want a date, email me at trekkie4u at gmail dot com.

Mar 7th, 2008
Clark Kent

Great advice! I’ll be sure to use it.

Mar 9th, 2008
CGROOVE

I don’t think this list was ordered, but I think one of these points in particular can override most others: make her laugh.

If you can make a girl laugh to it hurts easily, she’ll already be interested. Once she’s laughing, all the other aspects will fall into place.

Mar 16th, 2008
jozsefff

“If you’re insecure, stay home.” Umm, I think I’d just rather stick with suicide.

Mar 19th, 2008