What Not To Do While Traveling This Holiday

photo by cheeseloaf

Have you ever lit a match to cover up the smell while you were dropping a deuce? While this is a perfectly acceptable way to disguise the smell in your own home, you probably shouldn’t try doing this when you’re on a plane.

Earlier this month, a flight coming from Washington D.C. heading to Dallas had to make an emergency pit stop in Nashville because fellow passengers smelt burnt matches. It turns out it was just a woman who had lots of gas and wanted to hide the smell. [via USA Today]

Wow, makes me think about what I would do if I were in the same situation. I mean we all pass gas, but why does everyone get all so up in arms when they smell someone else’s fumes from the doom. Is there really a proper way to get out of it gracefully?

Here are some options she could have tried:

1. Keep quiet. The other people next to her might have thought it was coming from someone else or that the stewardess did a drive-by fart.
2. Hold it. I think to a certain degree we all get pretty good at doing this. Over a lengthy flight though, she might have had trouble on this. I wonder if that’s healthy though to hold your gas in. It’s never felt right.
3. Blame someone else. She could have said, “Wow do you smell that? I think it’s coming from over there.” This could work, but we all know whoever smelt it dealt it right?
4. Create a :30 Diversion. Maybe she could have used a little misdirection like magicians do and started to have a coughing fit. Others might have focused on the coughing and by that time the smell would have dissipated.
5. Give and Go. She could have got out of her seat and walked toward the end of the plane and then while she was walking back let it go little by little.
6. Be honest and just let it rip. Maybe say, I’m so sorry but that Chicken Marsala is doing cartwheels in my stomach and is giving me bad gas. She might have got a funny look, but people tend to appreciate honesty.

It’s hard to fault her too bad because we’ve all been in a similar situation. If you’re traveling this holiday and have some gas, hopefully you can use some of those tips. Happy Holidays and godspeed.